I have held on to things because I was so scared of what is around the corner.  I have gripped tightly to my present situation because it is sure, too timid to trust that the path will lead me to an unsure better.  I know it is there.  I know there are great things that are unseen.  They wait just around the corner, close enough to sense, close enough to tickle my senses with their amazing goodness. I try not to get caught up in it while looking toward it with faith, but I am doing neither well.   I am not enjoying the day and I am not moving toward my future.  I am not pining for days of past either, but stagnant in the present.  Here, this now is so much better than any past I have lived. And I know that there is an amazing future laid out by a loving Father in Heaven.  He is waiting for me to loosen my grip, take his hand and walk around that corner.  I have no doubt that he is capable of providing that future.  His hands have created unnumbered worlds.  His hands have led and guided through my darkest hours.  When I could not trust my own hands, he softly took them in his own guiding to a peaceful, safe place.  I know the great capabilities and concern my God has for me.  I am only fearful because I am not sure that I am worthy of that future.  So I am letting my fear keep me from what I want so much.  Instead of trusting His judgement of my self-worth I am letting doubts and worthlessness consume me.

My future has not been written.  I am here living it and determining what it will be right now.  I can make decisions that will lead to beautiful happiness that burns deep within my soul, radiating and propelling myself through trials.  Or I can make the string of decisions that will lead me to the same place,wondering how to change this life that I am living.  It is a grave responsibility to shape and mold someone else's destiny as well.  But my choices and my life path also guides my children's life paths.  I am not crushed by that knowledge, but empowered by the ability to show them how to be happy.  I love that I have that relationship and influence upon their lives.  I hope that I can guide them and then let their wonderful potential take them past my influence.  They are already so amazingly wonderful.  Sometimes I just sit back and watch.  I smile and beam with the pride that is filling my chest.  Amazing is the only word that I can use and it is not enough.  I am constantly in awe at their strength and their natural goodness.  They are so beyond me and I am so grateful to have even been part of their lives.  I am happily overwhelmed by the opportunity to be their parent, their guide, their supporter, and their friend.  It makes me smile and it makes me proud.  Their potential is great and it is because my potential is great too.  We are looking toward the future with happy thoughts.  But more than that we are living today with happy thoughts.